book review: the way of the superior man

This book is definitely worth a revisit, probably on more than one occasion. I recently read “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida and was blown away by the thoughts, ideas and discoveries found in the book. Now I have to say, one of my main reasons for revisiting this book in the future is because I’m not currently in a relationship. Although I have been in one, I feel this book is more so geared to those who are currently in a long term relationship. None the less, there are great findings in this book, no mater the relationship status. As far as the writing goes, the chapters are short; and the book is written in a casual, yet poetic manner. This can sometimes make it a bit difficult to understand (at least for me) so I found myself re-reading some sections several times so that I can get a greater grasp on the subject 

Now, this book isn’t just for men, as I found almost half of the reviews are from women. At the beginning, Deida says that there are masculine character traits and energies that women can have and like wise men can have feminine character traits and energies. Where this comes into play is when finding a partner as generally, the opposite energy/traits attract. It is also important to note that one can be balanced on both traits and therefore would seek a balanced partner. 

The author also discusses the kinds of men that are found in society before going into how to become a superior man. The superior man isn’t what some would think as the man with the “alpha” attitude, the macho man, or more commonly seen these days, the douche bag. Deida also talks about the opposite character to that, which is the “spineless whimp” as he says. The one who can’t make decisions, and are full of fear. 

So what is the superior man? Well, as Deida says, the superior man is a man on a mission. They know what they want in life, their calling if you will; and they go out and get it. They don’t let anything get in their way. It is masculine to be constantly after a challenge. If there is an obstruction in the path of the mission, no amount love in the world can make it right.

This is the opposite for the those with feminine traits and energy. Those with feminine traits are all about love. If they are loved by their partner, their children, friends and family. If they have love flowing through them, then everything is alright. Yes, those with feminine energy can have a mission as well, but it is of less importantance to them. 

Now, how does this all work in a relationship? Well, I picked up few things that are worth nothing. I’m sure I’ll pick up more when I revisit this book, but this is what I’ve got for now. A feminine woman doesn’t care about a mans track record. They could be early/on time 100 times, but if they’re late once, what happened before doesn’t matter. It’s what’s happening now. An extreme example of this would be cheating. 

Second lesson I picked up is kind of a two in one. A superior man does not criticize his woman, but instead praises her and loves her. Seems simple enough, but it really isn’t. When a woman gets upset or “goes off” on her partner, its very common for a man to go, “Woah, I’m just gonna back off here and give you some space.” Or, for the man to ask her a bunch of questions to figure out what’s wrong. The questions can help a bit, as long as not too much is asked, but questions are generally something that works well for someone with masculine traits. What should be done is that the man should love her. Now this can be done in many ways, and it sounds simple right? But it really isn’t. However it’s one of the key pieces in maintaining a strong relationship. A great relationship should be a partnership of love a support, where the masculine is supported unconditionally in their mission, and the feminine is loved from the heart. A mission does not take a day, its a life time journey. Love cannot be purchased, it has to be found, and earned. I’m certainly glad I came across this book, early on in my mission in life. 

Wilson Lau

Photographer of weddings, and people alike.